When Dreaming

Do you prefer dreams or nightmares? I used to enjoy dreams more, especially a recurring dream where I’d be able to fly. Usually, I’d take off from the same spot, the street on the other side of our block, where, as kids, we’d run back and forth playing various games. Nightmares would just leave me afraid of going back to sleep. 

Now, however, I almost prefer nightmares. 

With a nightmare, I’m happy to wake up. I’m glad I don’t have to be in it any longer. But when I dream, I often wake up sad because I wish I could return to the dream, or it was such a bizarre dream that it leaves me not even sure of what I just experienced. 

For example, a recent dream had me walking down a sidewalk in town when I noticed a crane in the grass just over a hill. As I got closer, another crane came out of nowhere trying to keep me away from the other one, opening its wings wide in a threatening way. So, obviously, I opened my arms wide and made weird noises at it in return. It’s moments like that when I hope I don’t take after my dad - he talks in his sleep.

Of course, I’ll take just sleeping over dreams or nightmares any day! My mind is racing here and there and everywhere when I’m awake. So, it’s nice when it quiets down at night and lets me rest. I don’t know if a preference for nightmares over dreams is common or if it, perhaps, hints at whether or not one is an optimist or pessimist*, but I do know that both leave me tired the next morning.

And tired Nicole doesn’t usually function well. How about you?

I’ve talked before about how my daily limits are lower than they once were. Being tired just seems to compound those decreased levels, leaving me operating at a reduced capacity. When you’re trying to get a business off the ground, that isn’t a best-case scenario. 

Fortunately, working for myself (at least at the moment) allows me to make accommodations that I might not find working for someone else. Things like: flexible working hours (starting later and taking breaks when needed), noise control, working on one project at a time, taking rest days when needed, choosing my work environment.

The dream is to really make working for myself… work for me, but I do not have a mind for business**. And at the moment, I don’t have a mind that stays focused very well. Regardless, if I work for myself or get a steady job, my hope is that I won’t return to the days when waking up felt like the nightmare. 

*A cursory search of “does a preference for nightmares suggest pessimism” didn’t produce much that actually answered the question. It did, however, remind me that pessimism is bad for my health and nightmares can make anxiety worse. So… good news, then.

**For those of you running your own businesses, do you have any tips?